Air travel rules to live by
“Ladies and gentlemen, in the event of an emergency, the emergency lighting system will activate. Also, when you get up to go to the bathroom, please make sure to wear shoes.”
Via chunkysalsa
The Mayans may have had it right. If we now live in a society where people have to be told to wear shoes into an airplane bathroom, a society where this is not only the most obvious of all air travel rules but an obvious life rule, then clearly the end is near.
I’ve been on my fair share of planes and consider myself if not an expert then at least a seasoned pro. So for the benefit of my fellow passengers on my last flight home from California, let me share a few of my air travel rules:
Wear shoes to go to the bathroom
Still can’t believe we have to be explicit about this. Britney Spears, I hope you’re reading. Again, this is not limited to the “air travel rules” category. You should be using this one on the ground too.
It’s ok to be impressed by business class
Business class is sweet. You can stick out your legs without touching the seat in front of you, you can recline almost all the way, the food is actually good – there’s nothing wrong with being excited about it, and I for one am not about to judge anyone who looks like he’s enjoying the experience.
Via ToastyKen
I did, however, judge the guy sitting next to me. Because if you’re really so fancy that you need to ask where the wine comes from before accepting it (it’s free wine on a long-haul flight, just drink the stuff for crying out loud), then you’re fancy enough to know that the menu they pass out to the business class passengers before take-off contains detailed descriptions of all the wines on offer. Keep up, buddy.
Plug in your personal DVD player
Because asking the girl sitting next to you if she knows how to work it and being told “you need to plug that in right there” is probably embarrassing.
Bonus points for not interrupting the end of your seatmate’s movie
I felt a little bad when, as my movie ended, and my oenophile neighbor asked how it was, I thought “oh god, he wants to chat.” Because it turned out that actually, he’d only been keeping tabs on my movie because he’d wanted to go to the bathroom for about ten minutes but realized the movie was about to end and chose to wait before asking me to move. That was really nice of him.
Via kalleboo
But then when you ask the person in the aisle seat to let you pass, pass. Or you will lose your bonus points
Considering this guy had already been waiting a few minutes to go to the bathroom, I of course quickly pulled my legs out of the way and disconnected my headphones from the DVD player so he could get by. And then he just…sat there. For like five minutes. As I sat there doing nothing all scrunched up. It was strange.
Air travel these days is a trying experience. Let’s not make it worse on each other, ok? Be respectful of your seatmates’ time and space (I have not even gone into how rage-ful it makes me when someone takes the whole armrest, but that’s another no-no), don’t try to be someone you’re not, and wear shoes when walking on what might as well be a dirty city street.
Now, was that so hard?
What are your air travel rules and pet peeves?
How about, ASK before reclining your seat? You just may have someone who’s 6’4″ behind you…
Oooh, I have to admit I don’t ask, although I do look, and I go back veeeery slowly. I subscribe to the idea that if the seats recline, you’re not doing anything wrong by reclining them, but I do agree that you shouldn’t just smash backward into someone’s knees.
Related point: If you suddenly encounter resistance when putting your seat back do not attempt to repeatedly ram it back with all of your weight. The 6’4″ person behind you (i.e. me) will end up with sore knees).
YES!!!!!! Omg seriously!!
Now that I can agree with!
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The barefeet thing squeeks me out every time. I thought it was because I’m a nurse and have a low tolerance for picking up germs. Last fall after a particularly bad flight I composed “Ten Little Rules”
You can read it here if you like:http://edgyjunetravels.com/ten-little-rules/
And yes, for the love of God ask before you recline.
Loved the points about getting through security – I have long believed they should have an “experienced travelers” line so that those of us who are prepared can get through quickly instead of getting stuck behind the people who take 20 minutes each.
Ha! I agree but every once in awhile I am THAT woman and it makes me want to crawl into a hole…
Bag of worms Emily… In addition to all your excellent points:
1. Put the big carry-on up and the small carry-on down, and for the love of god… only bring two bags. Not 2.5, not 2 and a plastic bag. TWO.
1a. Related point: If you have a jacket that you want to go in the overhead bin, try to fit it on top of your bag. We’re pressed for space, people!
2. Obey the headphone/book/magazine/laptop/other electronic device rule: if your seat mate is using any of the above, don’t talk to them.
3. Unless you are about to miss your connecting flight, just let the people ahead of you off first. You got a crappier seat. Suck it up.
4. If it’s an overnight flight and the lights are off, don’t be rowdy. I don’t care if you are drunk; people are trying to sleep.
4a. Related: Don’t get drunk. Really, airplane bathrooms are gross enough as is and you are going to get dehydrated enough as is.
5. Please stop your toddler (or yourself) from repeatedly kicking my seat. There is lots that is out of your control and I get it, and I’ll forgive a lot (you clearly don’t want your baby to be crying either), but kicking my seat drives me batty.
6. Please don’t grumble or glare at me when I need to get by to pee. I always try to get an aisle seat due to my abnormally small bladder, but sometimes I fail. I’m sorry. It sucks for me too. Please don’t make it worse by being mean.
These are just a handful of my on the plane rules to live by. Don’t get me started about in the airport…
When I’m traveling alone I prefer the aisle because I don’t want to deal with number 6! No one’s ever been mean to me, but I just feel bad, even though I don’t ever mind moving to let someone else by. And I agree with all of these!
Keep chewing gum in your mouth! On our flight from Dubai to Amman I got up to discover someone had stuck their gum on the front of the seat so I had someone else’s gum stuck all over the back of my pants – disgusting. This before our long-haul back to Australia and no I did not have pants to change (and try shopping for clothing at the Amman airport). Some ice got most of it off but such a harrowing experience!
Ok, this is another rule for life. Who sticks gum on a chair/desk/anywhere except a trash can?!
For working in an airline and dealing with travellers complains for the past 8 years…yes, I am a very patient person
travellers major grievances are folks reclining their seats without checking if someone is eating behind them; screaming children; parents changing their kid’s diaper on their seat table where meals will be served; not enough space to stowe their carry-ons in the overhead bins or under the seat in front of them because other travellers have brought more than the 1 or 2 permitted carry-on, dirty lavatories; dogs and cats pooping in their carry-on kennels etc.
What you might want to do to have a more comfortable flight: avoid the seats in front of the emergency exit row because most of those do not recline; if you have an overactive bladder, make sure to choose and aisle seat a few rows from the lavatories; if you are booking a connection flight, do not book one with minimal transfer time and give yourself the extra hour in case your first flight is running a bit late; anticipate delays and do not take the last flight of the day as it can leave you stranded overnight at the airport should there be a delay or cancellation; pack snacks as you never know when you will be hungry and if there is enough food for everyone on board; if you have kids, bring games/coloring books and crayons for them…keep them busy; but the most important thing to remember is that planes are public transportation and that confining people in a small space all with their own reasons for flying (not everyone is flying for fun or vacation) keep your sense of perspective, most fellow travellers just want to be left alone; anticipate that things might go wrong (either going thru security, delays with your flights, turbulence on board, etc). Safe travels everyone!
“Keep your sense of perspective” – YES! I know I’m complaining in this post, but really I didn’t take any of it to heart (except the shoe stuff. I’m serious about that part). So many people just get so stressed traveling, and it makes the experience less pleasant for everyone. Let’s all try to take a deep breath and just get through it as pleasantly as possible.
I’ve also watched people roughly shove my small carry-on further back down the plane, way behind my row so it’s hard to retrieve, so they can fit their three bags of duty free in one overhead bin.
And standing up as soon as the wheels touch the runway won’t get you off the plane any faster.
The carry-on stuff is not ok. You should say something! (Or maybe you already do, in which case know that I support you)
Don’t grab the seat in front of you to haul yourself out of your own seat. The last time I flew, the dude behind me had to pee like 8 times and jerked my seat around like 8 times too. RAGE.
Yup. Or at least apologize if you are physically unable to stand up any other way. But really, that’s what armrests are for.
I agree, however if the seat in front of you has completely been reclined, there is not much space to move around, unless you are travelling in business or first class…then you will never get this problem
Also in regards to shoes, 3 days ago I just got back from an overnight flight (in the business we call them red eyes) and the lady in my row seated by the window took her sandals off and tried to squeeze her feet on the armrest of the person in front of her…that is a BIG NO, NO
the lady in front of her was not sleeping and told her to keep her feet in her own space.
Who does these things?! I just wonder if people act like this all the time or if there’s something about stepping onto an airplane that makes them lose any sense of what’s appropriate.
Omg, just tonight we were talking about separate security lines for frequent travelers! It also drives me freaking crazy when people are boarding and a) haven’t been asked to board yet or b) don’t have their freaking boarding passes out, I mean come on.
Anyways, just got back from a long trip and I am still slightly annoyed with my fellow travelers (just the ridiculous ones).
The most traumatizing airport experience of my life was LAX at Christmas coming home from my semester abroad in Chile – not only was I totally overwhelmed by English being spoken everywhere but I was surrounded by giant families with far too many suitcases who had no clue what they were doing. Nightmare!
I only recline my seat if the person behind me has done it or if they are asleep. Otherwise it stays up.
Someone has to be the first to recline though, right? I will say my opinion is probably colored by the fact that I haven’t yet had anyone smash my knees or recline all the way during a meal, and someone going back 2 inches on a daytime flight doesn’t bother me. Maybe I will join Team Don’t Recline once I have a bad recliner in front of me.
I usually always put on slipper-socks as soon as I get on a long flight and don’t put my shoes back on until we land. But that might just be me.
I have to say that a rule of mine is to keep as clean as possible during a flight. I brush my teeth, wash my face, touch up makeup, use hand sanitizer (well, everyone does I think), everything. For some reason, I used to think it didn’t matter because I was with a bunch of other dusty, wrinkled travelers, but it does.
I am reserving judgement on slipper socks. Slippers I can get behind if they have a defined sole, but socks with those little grippy nubbins on the bottom to me are socks and should not go in the bathroom.
I also brush my teeth and wash my face before “bed” on the plane. I feel like it helps me get to sleep if I make a conscious decision to make it bedtime vs. waiting to drift off while watching a movie.
LOL @ people not wearing shoes in the bathroom.
One of my favorite things on flights is watching people who don’t know how to open the folding bathroom doors even when there are very clear directions on the doors on HOW to do so. Push or pull to fold them.
Children inevitably always get it right, but it’s the adults who can’t. I absolutely love watching someone get up, go to the door, try to open it, fail, then go back to their seat, clearly needing to go very badly. They go back a second time…still can’t figure it out. Then, finally, they see someone else do it the right way and you can literally see the light bulb in their heads go DING! and it’s just one of those moments when you want to use the old “Heeeere’s your sign” line.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen that, but it would be hilarious! I can definitely imagine the nonchalant “ohhh, actually I didn’t have to go” walk back to the seat and then the rush to the bathroom again as soon as they see someone open the door.
There should be an experienced flyer line at security. Inexperienced flyers, take note of how I have used my time waiting in line wisely! I have my laptop and ziplock of liquids out. Don’t hold us experienced fliers up by waiting until you get to the conveyer belt.
Also, I don’t appreciate having to repeatedly shove your elbow back into your own seat to keep you from jabbing me in the ribs. The seats are small and space is limited. I get that, but be considerate of your fellow fliers!
Agreed on both counts.
I am guilty of going to the bathroom without shoes on an airplane. I figure because I’ve already had to walk around in my socks (thank you TSA) in the airport, it doesn’t really matter anymore.
Nooooooo! I agree that walking on the airport floor is already gross, but a bathroom – with those mystery drops that I just pray are water on the floor – is on another level for me.
How about…if I have my eyes closed, please do not talk to me. What…do I need a do not disturb sign on my forehead?!
This is another “people do this?!” for me. It’s bad enough when I’m clearly reading, and someone chats, but this is far worse. Maybe there should be a test before you are allowed on a plane, and if you answer wrongly to questions like “is it ok to slam your seat backward with all your force?” and “is it appropriate to talk to the person next to you when her eyes are closed?” you aren’t allowed to board.
I bet we would be shocked by how many people would fail that test.
Use your whisper voice or you’ll get disapproving looks in business/1st class.
I actually usually feel like I have to yell to be heard over the engines – flight attendants are always asking me to repeat myself!