An English language PSA
My fellow Americans (by which I mean US Americans, I know there are two entire continents called the Americas, and I know we’re pretentious to think we’re the only Americans, and I’m sorry, but “US Americans” just sounds dumb) – anyway, my fellow people from the US: I have a public service announcement to make.
You sound like an idiot when you use British words. Don’t even get me started on fake English accents. Most of you sound like you’ve recovered admirably well from a stroke, not like you’re next door neighbors to Kate and Wills.
I’m sorry, but in the US, we just don’t say that we need the loo. Mad means angry, not crazy. And guess what – you know how you know that in the UK, they call soccer football? English people are aware that we call it soccer. I’ve met plenty of latinos who’ve gone to study English in USA, and when they still call it football – probably mentally spelled futbol – it’s cute. It is not cute in reverse.
Now, lest you think I’m being too harsh or picking sides of my heritage, let me say that it goes both ways. When my English family members try to speak with American accents, bless their hearts, they totally overdo it and, on some words, sound kind of like pirates.
Then, of course, there are the challenges faced by the bi-dialectical. Just the other day I referred to my Chilean pension scheme. Step one was trying to remember how on earth to talk about it in any kind of English at all. I surmounted that challenge in what was clearly a very British way because the New Yorker I was speaking to pointed out that to him, scheme sounded shady. Oops. I did not mean to imply that I am a mini-Madoff when I was in fact talking about being in compliance with Chilean law!
Of course, all this is said tongue muy in cheek, and some people really are great at doing an accent from across the pond. I do encourage you to think, however, next time you’re tempted to suggest to your English friend that you take the lift – elevator will do just fine.
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As an aussie, this post made me chuckle
. We use the word loo, though it’s out of fashion these days, or maybe adults just don’t say it (we say toilet, not bathroom).
Mad is both angry and crazy, depending on the context, but I’ve been accused of both, possibly at the same time, possibly by my children.
Kids play soccer, but the leagues are football leagues, so when you get serious about it, I guess you call it football!
In Aus, a pension is the miserly amount the government gives you if you haven’t saved enough in your own superannuation account – so pension schemes seemed like a dud of an idea when I first heard about them. And we take lifts and elevators… We’re confused.
Not as confused as my kids though, who in Chile had teachers with American accents teaching them that trucks were lorries and pants were trousers (we use the word trousers here, but it generally means better pants for men, not pants in general).
And now that they’re back in aus, they ask the teacher if they can go to the bathroom, and are told they need to say toilet. He he he.
All of this sounds hopelessly confusing – your poor children must be just about ready to give up on the English language!
hahaha. This definitely made me laugh. Most of the time, when I’ve heard anyone attempt to speak British, they were just goofing around and therefore purposely sounding stupid. Though, I am a little guilty of using “mad” to mean “crazy” sometimes.
I have a theory that even the people who are goofing around secretly think they sound British. And no, no they do not.
Hahahaha I love you!!! I do have to say that after about a year of dating/living with an Aussie I started pronouncing some words completely subconsciously with an Aussie accent and I definitely adapted some of their lingo into my vocab. I’m sure that I sounded ridiculous now that you mention it…
That I can live with because I’m a total parrot and pick up words or accents from whoever I spend time with. And of course, whatever I do has to be ok
I semi-agree. It’s stupid for an American in the US to go out of their way to use British words, but if you’re not living there it’s a different story.
When you’re around a lot of non-native English speakers who studied British English in school it’s just easier to use the words that they know. It only takes a minute of a car salesman staring at you like an idiot because you asked how you pop the hood to realize life will be a lot easier for you if you just call the damn thing a bonnet.
Yes, exception granted for you too! I have been known to pull a similar one by adopting an Argentine accent when ordering foods that have the double L in them (like noodles, which are tallarines) because in Argentina that’s pronounced very distinctly. And even though I KNOW they understand my normal Spanish pronunciation of tie-ya-reen-ehs, sometimes it’s just faster to skip the “what? I’m sorry, we don’t serve that” face and call them tie-zha-reen-ehs.
Hee hee, my pet peeve!
Love it! (Well, actually I hate it. I do love the blog post though!).
Come sit on my bench, and we can make fun of the people who do this.
Dear Emily, sounds as if you have an extremely good comand of the english language, how abouth sharing some of that knowledge with my compatriots, many of them say they speak english but when you ask them they’l respond something like “lles” or “jes”, now, Chileans are a proud bunch and resent me when i try to correct them, I have been living here in the U.S. for 50yrs and i am partly schooled here, they resent me but they won’t resent you i hope, also, i would love to hear you speak Chilean spanish i think it might be cute
Hmm, I’m not sure that me speaking Spanish is “cute”…I’m fluent and have a Chilean accent, so I think it just sounds like I’m bilingual. And feel free to send all your Chilean friends to read my blog
wow, i blew “command”
I think you can tell when a person is forcing slang in any language. I would sound idiotic saying “loo” however, I love and adore the Aussie-shortening-which-is-not-really-shortening-since-it’s-still-two-syllables of the word “breakfast,” to “breaky,” and don’t feel like an idiot yelling out, “Let’s eat breaky!” because it’s just so fun to say.
Breaky is English, the colonies copied it from us
Hi, this is the 1st time I ran into your blog and all I can say is “Oh bollocks”
Bad Pancho!